Buffyisms: Season 1

 

One of the things that made Buffy the Vampire Slayer a hit TV show is the amazing crew of writers who delivered fun, youthy dialogue week after week. Each Wednesday I will be celebrating some of my favourite “Buffyisms” or quotes from the show. It’s been hard to narrow it down because each episode delivers at least a good handful, but these are some that have recently amused or touched me.

Note, there will be spoilers for season 1, you’ve been warned!

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Source: Goodbye Piccadilly

Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Uh, which part?
Xander: The math. - Welcome to the Hellmouth

Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. -  Welcome to the Hellmouth

Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away. - Welcome to the Hellmouth

Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good. - The Harvest

Cordelia Chase: Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog? You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! - The Harvest

Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history? - The Witch

Xander Harris: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away. - The Witch

Giles: This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one-one assumes it is entirely legal?
[Buffy and Willow speak at once]
Buffy: Of course.
Willow Rosenberg: Entirely.
Giles: Right. Wasn't here. Didn't see it. Couldn't have stopped you. - Teacher’s Pet

Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him. - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Giles: If your identity as a slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case, I won't wear my button that says 'I'm a Slayer - Ask Me How.' - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Buffy: See, this is a school. And we have students and they check out books and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth. - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Xander Harris: So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander Harris: I mean, how'd the *laying* go? No, I don't mean that either. - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you. Very exciting.
Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes! - The Pack

Xander: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy! - Angel

Xander: Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book.
Buffy: What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?
Xander: Duh! - Angel

Source: Goodbye Piccadilly

Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave? - I Robot, You Jane

Willow: What could a demon possibly want from me?
Xander: What's the square root of 841?
Willow: 29. Oh, yeah. - The Puppet Show

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate. Students loitering on campus after school. Horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking. - The Puppet Show

[confronting his nightmare clown]
Xander: Your balloon animals were *pathetic*. Everyone can make a giraffe.  - Nightmares

Source: Goodbye Piccadilly

Cordelia: Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang. - Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain. - Prophecy Girl

Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that!
Angel: No, I wasn't!
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck!
Xander: I told you to eat before we left. - Prophecy Girl

Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty. - Prophecy Girl

 

I could go on and on and on (I seriously have about 40 other quotes in my file!) but these are some of my favourite quotes from season 1, which was very cheesy, sarcastic, witty and just plain fun!

What are some of your favourite quotes from season 1? Share them in the comments below!

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Previously on The Sunnydale Project (Sept. 4) …

•  Trivia Tuesday: General BTVS Facts
•  Character Sketches: Rupert Giles {Giveaway} (Patricia’s Particularity)