Bookish Comforts: Buffyisms: Season 3

One of the things that made Buffy the Vampire Slayer a hit TV show is the amazing crew of writers who delivered fun, youthy dialogue week after week. Each Wednesday I will be celebrating some of my favourite “Buffyisms” or quotes from the show. It’s been hard to narrow it down because each episode delivers at least a good handful, but these are some that have recently amused or touched me.

Note, there will be spoilers for season 3 -- you’ve been warned!

Credit: Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Bloody Square

Xander: Okay, and the, uh, second problem I'm having...'Come and get it, Big Boy'?
Willow: Well... W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I'm wisecracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time.
Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: 'This time it's personal.' I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic. (Anne)

Buffy: I'd like to find Willow and Xander.
Joyce: Will you be slaying?
Buffy: Only if they give me lip. (Dead Man’s Party)

Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what? (Faith, Hope and Trick)

Giles: Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought. Poker: not your game. (Beauty and the Beasts)

Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Lyle: WIFE!
Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you? (Homecoming)

Credit: Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Bloody Square

Cordelia: What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?
Buffy: It was an accident!
Xander: What, you just tripped and fell on his lips? (Revelations)

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. (Lover’s Walk)

Willow: Hmm, Buffy. Ooh, scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts. (The Wish)

Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because... (Amends)

Cordelia: I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious... again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you're gonna wake up in a coma. (Gingerbread)

Credit: Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Bloody Square

Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and...and I loved you.
Buffy: Why?
Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too. (Helpless)

Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It's my *thing*.
Willow: Your thing?
Xander: My thing!
Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?
Xander: It's my thing that makes me cool. You know, that makes me unique. I'm Car Guy. Guy with the car. (The Zeppo)

Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie. (Bad Girls)

Wesley: My. She is cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait. (Consequences)

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D...I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke. (Dopplegandland)

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Credit: Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Bloody Square

Angel: You still my girl?
Buffy: Always. (Enemies)

Oz: It was intense.
Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were gonna make an expression.
Oz: Well, I felt one coming on, I won't lie. (Earshot)

Buffy: You, I can't believe you got into Oxford.
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: That's some deep academia there.
Buffy: There's where they make Gileses.
Willow: I know. I can learn and have scones. (Choices)

Cordelia: No dresses, no cellphone, no car. Everything has been taken away because Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes... for the last 12 years. (The Prom)

Giles: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?
Giles: Both, actually. (Graduation Day, Part 1)

Credit: Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Bloody Square

Snyder: Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate.
Buffy: My God. He's gonna do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil. (Graduation Day, Part 2)

I could go on and on and on! I think I’m tied between Season 2 & 3 being my favourite, both in terms of the episodes and the awesome quotes.

What are some of your favourite quotes from season 3? Share them in the comments below!

Previously on The Sunnydale Project (Sept. 18) …